My wife is away for four days so the kids are going to need a lot of vegetables when she gets back.
Hey, people who spend money on safety deposit boxes: are you angry nobody ever told you about digging?
~ Hey folks, this is Don Key!
~ Come on down to Key's Automotive for.. uh...
[camera still rolling]
~ Holy shit... Donkey. My name is donkey...
For a memorable loan application appointment, bring a peacock feather quill to sign all the documents. Keep it in your hat when not in use.
~ Do you have change for a twenty?
~ I can totally see that you do...
~ I said I don't, OK?!
[we spend the rest of the lap dance in silence]
You're in your 30's. You don't have "haters."
You have "adults" who find you "annoying."
BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime?
ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg...
BRUCE: Bring me a cape.
Horses must be terrified of carousels.
[goes to fridge to eat leftovers]
[finds a note that says]:
UHH YOUR ROOMMATE DIDN'T EAT YOUR PASTA, I DID.
I'M A WOLF. A WOLF WROTE THIS.
Whenever someone says they have "a thing" for me, I secretly hope it's a pony.